


Magic doesn't cure you (if you don't use it)

by Warped_Alignment



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Sickfic, Sirius Black Being an Idiot, Vomit, migraines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warped_Alignment/pseuds/Warped_Alignment
Summary: Sirius is ill, and doesn't tell anyone...until he passes out in potions
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius woke up, his mouth dry and scratchy, and his head pounding painfully. James was shaking him, and the movement was prompting a wave of dizziness of extreme proportions. He groaned at his friend, hitting at him to make him go away, and decided to get up slowly to avoid being detected. 

_You can show them you're not feeling good, they're not your parents._

**_But what if they don't like it?_ **

_They do it for Moony._

**_But he's not ill, he's a werewolf._ **

_You can't go the whole day without being ill._

Sirius knew the statement was probably true, but anyone could tell you that Sirius Black was the most determined child Hogwarts had ever seen, and so he decided to keep it to himself. He just couldn't risk it. He hated being ill, and hated being treated for it more, and his mind swam back to his childhood. He shivered at the thought, or possibly a fever, or maybe it was actually cold? It was anybody's guess. Anybody except Sirius, that is.

He managed to shuffle to the bathroom without raising too much suspicion, after all, he wasn't a morning person. Dizziness hit him hard, and he leant against the door, attempting to stay upright. It was doing nothing for his stomach, and he felt like he was going to either throw up or pass out, whichever came first. _Maybe I can't do it,_ he thought, but ignored it, riding the waves out until the earth felt steady enough to stand on again. He looked into the mirror, determining whether he looked well enough to pass. He knew what to look for by now, after having done it in his own house half his life. He checked his eyes. They weren't bloodshot, only a little red. His hair was sweaty, but he tied it back, which concealed it. He was pale, _but when wasn't he?_ And so he decided he should be able to hide it. He threw on a pair of robes, and walked out of the bathroom. 

The others had obviously already gone down to breakfast, so he slowly followed the route. When he got there, he realised his mistake. The usually exciting gossip was loud and unnecessary, and he found himself wanting to go back to bed. Instead, he sat down next to Remus, trying desperately not to close his eyes in the spotlight of the hall. The food was gone already, which seemed like a relief, although Remus had decided to be considerate, 

"Hey. I saved you some breakfast, you got down here late." He nodded politely, and let his friend place a slice of toast onto his plate, although he had no intention of eating it, he was already skirting the line of vomiting on the spot, and putting anything into his mouth was almost guaranteed to push him over it. 

"So, what do you think of James' presentation?" Remus chuckled. 

"I didn't have time to look at it." he shot out quickly, not wanting to talk for more than necessary. Remus shrugged, obviously not thinking too much of it, but another wave of dizziness overcame him, and he realised he really couldn't do this, at least, not around his friends. He got up, and hurried away, ignoring Remus' confused calls behind him.

Through the dizziness, noise, and headache, Sirius couldn't think. The noise seemed to get louder, and the lights brighter as he raced away, and he felt certain he was about to be sick, so he darted for the nearest door, managing only to shut the door before yesterday's dinner was released across the floor. Once he was certain there was nothing left, he vanished the mess, and rushed back to the dorm. 

He collapsed onto his bed as soon as he got back, rubbing his head, which did nothing to help his migraine (since it could no longer be called a headache) but felt like it should. He got his homework out, certain that if he could get some work done, he'd start to feel better, but it only succeeded in boring him and making him focus on the blinding pain coming from his head.

At some point, he must've fallen to sleep, because he woke up to Remus' face peering back at him. 

"Hi," he said, smiling softly at him, "Are you ok? You kind of ran away from me earlier, and I came to see if you were alright." Sirius nodded, although that was an obvious lie. He rubbed his eyes, and felt the pain rush back, making him bite his lip. He tasted blood, but ignored it, 

"How long was I asleep?" Remus smiled at him, 

"You missed transfiguration, but I covered for you, and then came looking. We've got potions next, come on." Sirius rubbed his eyes again, in a feeble attempt to erase the light from the world. It didn't work, but after a slight consideration, he thought potions might be the best subject to have next, all things considered, since it was always slightly dark in the dungeons. 

Once they got there (although Sirius only vaguely remembered walking there) they took their places. Sirius' was with James, whilst Remus was with Peter. Slughorn's voice filled the air. He was quieter than most teachers, but any talking was too much for Sirius at the moment, and he spent a second wishing Remus didn't wake him up, and that he could just crawl back into his bed, but knew it wasn't possible. 

"Felix Felicis is a very complex potion to create, so messing around will not be tolerated," he said, giving a pointed look to Sirius and James, who feigned an innocent look. He continued, "Therefore I have decided to pair you up myself. Mr Snape, you are paired with Mr Lupin. Miss McKinnon with Miss Meadows, Miss Macdonald with Mr Potter, Miss Evans with Mr Black, Mr Roberts.." he continued on, and Sirius made his way over to Lily's desk. Snape gave him a glare, and he rolled his eyes, _It wasn't my fault I got put with her!_ On a closer thought, he considered her art for potions, and noted she wasn't the worst person to be paired with. 

"You better be good, Black. I'm not losing my grades for _you._ " she hissed, and he shrugged, falling into the chair next to her, letting her proceed with the potion. She ordered him around, and he followed everything she said, which prompted more concern than if he were messing around, 

"Umm..Are you ok? You're kind of pale, and I- well, I'm not meaning to be mean, but you're doing things I asked you to." she looked so worried, but he _knew_ it was fake, _he knew it_ , it _had_ to be.

"Butt out, Evans. I thought you said I had to be good?" He said it a little harsh, and she opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again, frowning at him, but not having a good enough answer to respond to him with. She chopped up her mturtlap with a little too much enthusiasm, however, but he had more important things to worry about, like not passing out.

Halfway through the lesson, his dizziness overcame him, and he couldn't see. He stumbled off his chair into Lily, who shoved him off. He regained his balance, and was shocked enough for everything to come flashing back. 

"What is your _problem,_ Black?!" she screamed, and the sound made the world go fuzzier.

"I-Lily, I think I'm going to- I don't feel well." and then a flash of white made the world disappear. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lily was frustrated, to say the least, when she was paired up with Sirius Black, one of the people she avoided talking to as much as possible. Most girls in her year would jump at the chance to be paired up with him, which is one of the reasons why Lily avoided him. It wasn't really about his personality, although he was annoying, but was more to do with the trouble he incited, and the idiots he hung around with (barring Remus, Lily liked him) which really made her dislike him. She knew he was pretty much guaranteed to cause trouble if he was separated from James, and didn't want to be brought down with him, so the first thing she said when he sat down, was:

""You better be good, Black. I'm not losing my grades for _you_.", and although it sounded a little harsh, he seemed to get the message, and started to do whatever she told him to do. After about five minutes of silence, despite James' constant attempts to draw attention to himself, Lily felt certain he was going to do a prank, or _something_.

She looked him up and down, and realised maybe she had judged him wrong, after all, he _was_ looking pale, and granted, he always looked pale, but- _and was he sweating?!_ Lily had never, in all of her years at Hogwarts, seen anything to indicate Sirius was even _capable_ of sweating, he was too perfect for that. She resisted the urge to take his temperature, and decided to just ask him. 

Summoning the nicest voice she could manage (and possibly sounding a little fake) she said, "Umm..Are you ok? You're kind of pale, and I- well, I'm not meaning to be mean, but you're doing things I asked you to." 

He glared at her, "Butt out, Evans. I thought you said I had to be good?" she was genuinely concerned about him, but was more than a little annoyed by his behaviour. She didn't want to be at the receiving end of one of their stupid pranks, and was very annoyed, but without any proof, she couldn't do anything. Instead, she took her anger out on the Murtlap she was chopping, aggressively dicing it into chunks, in a way which, if she wasn't angry, would have made her proud. 

She tried to ignore him, but his work was getting sloppier. She couldn't be sure whether he was doing it to annoy her on purpose (in which case, it was working), or whether he really was just shit at potions, but she was getting gradually angrier and angrier at the pureblooded boy, who had every single advantage she could think of in this universe, but still managed to be sulky, somehow. Sometimes, Lily couldn't travel through a hallway without someone calling her a mud blood, and he was dripping with privileges, and yet he still caused trouble and sulked at the slightest annoyance. She had no tolerance for this behaviour, and the next tiny thing he did to annoy her was certain to draw a drastic overreaction.

This tiny thing came in the form of falling off his stool, and into her, in a way she could almost believe he didn't do it on purpose, but because of all of the tiny defiances which equated to a potion which looked luckless, she was fuming. 

"What is your _problem,_ Black?" she asked, shoving him away from her, and everyone was looking at the pair, now, but Lily didn't care, keeping her eyes trained on Sirius, who looked spaced out. She was prepared to argue, but he hadn't said anything, in fact, he was looking much paler than usual, and was squinting in the lights.

"I-Lily, I think I'm going to- I don't feel well." he said, loud enough to catch the attention of everyone in the room, before promptly falling, face first onto the concrete floor. A few gasps were heard, James had a look of pure horror on his face, Remus looked like he was having a revelation, and Peter looked close to tears, as a crowd begun to form around his body. 

"Mr Snape, go and get Madame Pomfrey. Everyone else, return to your seats please." Slughorn told everyone, but to his dismay, no-one except Snape moved. " _Now_!" 

The students started moving, until everyone except the marauders and Lily had returned to their seats. If anything, they were closer now than they were before, but before Slughorn had the chance to say anything, Madame Pomfrey arrived, Snape in tow. He returned to his seat, still watching close by, although that wasn't limited to Snape, pretty much everyone was watching Sirius by now. 

Madame Pomfrey shooed Remus, Peter, and James out of the way. She checked a few things, and then summoned a stretcher, levitated Sirius onto it, and bustled out of the room again, the stretcher following her closely behind. The marauders gave each other a look, and rushed out of the room before they were stopped.

"You cannot leave the lesson unless I tell you to!" Slughorn shouted after them, 

"Professor, I can go and bring them back, if you'd like," Lily offered. He nodded, and she hurried after them, having no intention of bringing them back, but preferring not to have a detention for it. 

Lily raced down the hallway, shouting for them to stop, unsure of how far they'd gotten, when she ran straight into Peter, knocking their heads together. 

"Ouch!" Peter shouted, and the other two turned too. 

"Alright Evans? D'ya miss us?" James asked, smiling at her, not in his usual way, but in a more strained manner. 

"Um. Slughorn sent me after you." she told them. James frowned, 

"Are you going to take us back? We're only concerned about him. Come on. Please?" She didn't tell him she was going to anyway, but nodded. He sighed with relief, and continued to walk. She followed, and he didn't attempt to get her to go away, which was a kind thing to do, which she appreciated. They walked in silence, all concerned, and in various states of agitation, but not judging one another as they made their ways to the hospital wing. When they got there, they sat in silence (which rarely happened when the boys were involved) and waited patiently for Madame Pomfrey to tell them it was ok. 

After what felt like two hours (but could only have been fifteen minutes) she appeared from the curtains, and approached them. 

"I hope you have permission to be here." she said, but she had a kind smile on her face which told Lily she didn't care, but the other three nodded in unison, so she nodded too. The nurse smiled wider, "I won't tell if you don't."

"How is he?" James asked. 

"Well, I wish he would've come to me before he collapsed, but he'll be fine. He's got the flu. There isn't a cure, but I can give him something to keep his temperature down. He needs to stay hydrated, and _cannot-"_ she gave a stern look at James, "exert himself" James gave a quick nod, and she flashed a smile, continuing, "That put aside, he wants to leave."

"What?!" Lily found herself shouting. She felt Peter jump beside her, "Why? What the hell's _wrong_ with him?" Everyone seemed to be giving her dirty looks, but she didn't care. _If they don't have enough of a spine to tell her, I will._

"Miss Evans! Please refrain from raising your voice. I, too, wish he would change his mind, but he seems set upon leaving."

"Let me see him." she said with gritted teeth, " _Alone_ " she spat at the boys, and Madame Pomfrey obliged, pulling Lily into one of the rooms. 

"Evans?" Sirius' voice was hoarse as he spoke. He had a smug look on his face at the sight of her, but the sweat matting his hair together and ghostlike face told her he wasn't well, since usually he'd do anything to make himself look better, even if it was an obvious prank (she got him to dye his hair pink in the sixth year for 'muggle fashion') just to make people laugh, or in most girls' case, like him even more. 

"What the actual _fuck_ is your problem?!"

He frowned, "Erm-I'm sorry?" he looked so confused she almost felt sorry for him, 

"You want to _leave?_ " For a moment, his face flashed with more fear than she'd ever seen from him, and then it went still. He stared blankly at her, as if she wasn't really there. When he spoke again, his voice was still croaky, but it was monotonous and robotic,

"Yes. I do."

The unusual way of speaking was unnerving her. She wanted to change the topic, but was determined to continue with the line of pursuit. 

"Why?"

He smiled, and shrugged, attempting and failing to look nonchalant, still staring into the distance. 

"You have to stay, Sirius."

This pulled him out of the weird look, and the fear appeared again, this time, settling onto his face, 

"No. No. Please, Lily, Please. You can't let her." He was breathing heavier now, "She'll lock me in. I can't do it again. I won't do it. Please don't make me do it." tears started streaming down his cheeks, and she crept closer. He squeezed his eyes shut, and moved his head away from her. She sat down next to him, and shushed him gently, like she did with her baby cousins when they were upset. He turned to her, and reached a hand around her, cuddling her gently.

After a moment, they drew apart. Sirius smiled at her sheepishly, "Sorry." he seemed to restrain himself, and wiped the tears from his eyes. 

"Who were you talking about?" she said softly. 

"No-one." he fiddled with his bedsheets, pretending he was suddenly interested in them. She waited for another response. 

"Your mum?" she asked. He nodded slowly. 

"I-she used to-when I was young, and we got sick, she'd-she'd lock us in a room. When we were sick."

"That's terrible! Can't you tell anyone?" He shook his head, 

"No-one'd believe me. The noble house of black wouldn't do such a thing." he smiled at her, "I'd gotten quite good at hiding it. You know last summer? When I had too much firewhisky?"

She nodded, remembering how he'd thrown up all over James, then a wave of realisation came over her, " _That's_ why you never shared?" he smiled in response, 

"Yeah. It was pepper up. Doesn't work too well, mind you." an intense emotion crossed his face, "Don't tell anyone. Please." 

"I won't. I promise. And you _can_ go back to your dorm."

He grinned at her, "Getting soft, are you Evans?" she mirrored his grin, 

"Piss off, Black."

She left the room, letting the boys in. And if she _accidentally_ hit Walburga with her trolley when she came into 9 3/4, was it really her fault? After all, she was just a lowly mudblood, and she couldn't control where she rammed it. Or if she smirked afterwards. Not even if Sirius grinned wider when she did so.

Who knows why it happened?

Not Lily Evans, That's who. 


End file.
